On my Meet the Ginger page on my blog I said I would share my running adventures with you. I've decided I should share the good and the bad. Last night is one that I would characterize as bad. Really bad.
The Hubbo and I started out running at our favorite park. It has a 3 mile loop that makes it easy to get our weekday miles in. Between mile 1 and 2 I started coughing pretty bad. A couple of weeks ago I think I coughed my way into a bruised rib or bruised diaphragm because it hurt for several days and was tender to the touch. So I was afraid of that happening again last night.
By mile two I was so frustrated that I wasn't having a good run that I stopped and walked a mile back to the car.
That last mile took forever. A lot of thoughts were running through my head and stumbling their way out of my mouth as my Hubbo walked by my side supporting me every step of the way.
Here they are for your reading pleasure.
- Running is stupid.
- I don't want to run a 50K next week.
- How am I going to run a 50K when I can't run 5 miles without wanting to die?
- Running would be easier if I hadn't gained weight.
- How did I gain 15lbs while training for a marathon? Who does that??
- Because I've gained weight running has been more expensive and caused some injuries and pain.
- Because I have PCOS my body will always fight me on my weight. It doesn't like carbs, but runners need carbs. How can I eat a low carb diet and fuel myself to run a marathon?
- I don't like the fact that I had to move back a group in my marathon training.
- I don't like the fact that I can't run a 10 minute mile to save my life at the moment.
- I feel so guilty when running with the Hubbo because I know he can run a sub 10 minute mile and he's holding back for me.
The last 6 months of running have been difficult. I lost a toenail. Gross, I know. I had IT Band issues. I've spent a ton of money on Chiropractor visits, new inserts, new shoes, and new equipment to relieve pain and injuries. And I've gained weight. I can honestly say that in the last 6 months I feel like I've had 2 good runs where I didn't feel like absolutely passing out and dying in the middle. That is a lot of miles to push yourself and be miserable.
But I keep doing it. It has to get better right? I have all these goals I want to achieve and races I'm signed up for.
I've decided that I need to change my attitude. I saw a graphic on Facebook today that helped me do that and kind of laugh at the same time. It said something like this "Running is 90% mental and the other half is physical." If you have read my blog post called Running Makes You Dumb, this graphic kind of makes sense.
I will run the 50K. I will finish the 50K. I will join Marathon Maniacs.
I will run Little Rock. I will finish Little Rock. I will figure out what to do with that huge medal. All I have to do is Keep Going.
Okay, Pity Party Over. Thanks for reading.
P.S. Tonight's run was tough, but wayyyy better than last night.